What’s really sick in all this

You know what's sick: not that Mark Polish made a beautiful film with an actress you like but that those of you who didn't like it continue to follow Mark on twitter or stalk his tweets lying in wait for any new post because you are hell bent on letting him know how much you hate him and/or FLO at every opportunity. What’s sick is the way many of you treat Stana; you may claim to be defending her but many of you are really just being disrespectful to two people.

Mark is not obsessed with Stana he is a filmmaker who cast an actress for a film. It is many of you who are obsessed and you are projecting that onto how you see everything Stana does and is. You stopped being simply fans a long time ago and now run on pure, blinding obsession. So many of you treat Stana like an object, a piece of meat to sexualise and demean at every turn and yet you condemn Mark for casting her in a role that showcases her talent, bravery and adventurous spirit, not just her beauty. 

FLO is a film and Mark and Stana are actors playing characters; it’s not real and yet Stana is the only actress I know of who is constantly condemned for doing her job. Stana is NOT Beckett nor is she really with 'Castle’. But there are so many who either seem to actually believe that Caskett are real or that Stana somehow belongs to Nathan that in doing her job anyone else with the ‘audacity’ to work with her are labelled. You just have to watch any of her roles to see that Stana gives them her all. She doesn't hold back and that is part of what makes her such a remarkable actress. It is disturbing how many people have blurred the line between actress and character.

To those of you who call FLO porn have you not seen all the tweets obsessed with Caskett having sex… Many of you seem to want Castle to air on HBO but you would condemn FLO as porn when there was only one sex scene, and it was the most respectfully, tastefully done sex scene I’ve ever seen on film. The entire film is incredibly respectful and beautifully showcases what it means to be in love and love is more than sex. You are offended by FLO but the idea of turning Castle into a porn show doesn’t seem to faze people. Hypocritical double standards again stemming from this blurred line between fiction and reality.

To those of you who condemn FLO for the affair, the film is so much more than that. Do you also condemn films that depict assault, murder, robbery, war, hate crimes, drugs, etc. In fact Castle, as a crime show, depicts many of these things and you don't condemn it.  

If you don't like FLO, and by association Mark, that is your choice; simply unfollow him or stop stalking his tweets. Don't read his interviews or watch FLO/HWML, but most importantly DO NOT treat him like garbage. Keep your disgusting comments to yourself and stop with the harassment. This is an incredible, talented, kind, generous person you are rubbishing and he deserves to be treated with respect. You are entitled to not like something or someone but that doesn't entitle you to use the anonymity of the Internet to be disrespectful, hurtful and downright inappropriate. By association you claim to be fans of Stana; do you really think she would appreciate your treating her friends this way. Stana has had nothing but positive things to say about her experience making FLO, she talks of trust and says she would do it again in a heartbeat, so stop projecting your feelings onto those involved in the film.

We get it you don't like it. Get over it and quit wasting your energy on hate and instead go and discuss the things you enjoy.

The only thing worse than bullying is defending your behaviour like you have a right to hurt others. You have NO such right! Your opinion is NOT more important than a person's feelings. If you are offended by such a notion than you seriously need to rethink your life choices. Freedom of speech is NOT the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want, damn the consequences. 

Forever Love

Grandma & Grandpa

Sixty years ago today Edwin Joy and Patricia Adams said I do and spent the next near 58 years building their lives together. With five kids (four boys aged 7, 9, 11 & 13 and a girl 2) in tow they boarded a boat in England and came to Australia where daughter number two was born seven years later. Here they established new roots and until the day they died they lived in the same house my dad grew up in and that numerous dogs throughout the years called home. Six kids have since grown to include nineteen grandchildren and one great grandchild.

My grandparents may not have been big on leaving the house, you had to visit them for the most part, but family was incredibly important to them. There was never a shortage of love at their house and regardless of the growing number of grandchildren ranging in age from myself at thirty (in 5 days) to four when Grandma died and seven months when Grandpa died they never seemed out of their comfort zone interacting with any of us. Family was in their blood; it came so naturally to them.

After nearly 58 years of marriage my Grandma passed away from cancer in 2011. Grandma was someone who I cannot remember being sick a day in my life, whom we all thought would be someone who saw 100, and one of the strongest women I’ve known so her diagnosis was a massive shock to everyone. One of the first things Grandma said after she was diagnosed was that she’d see Grandpa’s next birthday but not hers. She died six days after his birthday and six days before her own, living more approximately six months past doctor’s expectations. When she was nearing the end Grandpa told her that he would be joining her soon. After she died he stopped taking his medication and barely ate, but somehow his body managed to hold out just over three years when his heart and soul for all intents and purposes had died with Grandma. His wish was to be buried so the urn holding Grandma’s ashes was buried with him – together forever. I believe two things when it come to my grandparents’ passing: that through sheer determination Grandma kept her promise to see Grandpa’s next birthday and that Grandpa died of a broken heart. Theirs is a true love story and one I truly admire and am honoured to have witnessed.